


Because that's your job

by Crazy_lil_munchkin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Has Issues, I aknowledge your pain, You brave little solider, just somethin' i did, lots of issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3960244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_lil_munchkin/pseuds/Crazy_lil_munchkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>The one where Dean is broken and has been raised to hate himself.</strong>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because that's your job

His father has always given him too much to be responsible for.

He never let Dean tell anyone how his mother died, he won’t let him have a normal job, won’t let him have his little apple pie life because he has to sacrifice everything to help people.

Because that’s his job.

One thing that John never had to tell Dean was to look out for Sammy. He always knew to look out for him. It was the most important responsibility he had ever had his entire life. And the amount of times he screwed it up…

Sam thinks Dean's just a solider to dad, that he doesn't treat Dean the way fathers are supposed to treat their sons. But he’s wrong. Dad cares about him, he’s proud of him because he's a good son… right? Exactly. He's not a soldier, he's a good son. And he always got the extra cookie because of it.

Sam thinks he did it to manipulate him, to reward him for things that no one should ever have to see, let alone go through. Dad would never though… not ever…

Anyway, too much responsibility inevitably leads to failure and let down. Which is what he does best. He let Dad down, he let his mother down, he let Bobby down, Jo, Ellen, Lisa and Ben, Charlie, Cas, Kevin and most of all Sam. He has lied, hurt and nearly let his brother get killed and it was all his fault.

Dean's always wanted to be like his father, because who wouldn't? He saves so many people and never asks anything in return except that he finds his wife’s killer and have vengeance against them for the pain they have caused their family.

His father is a stubborn mule and he's not the father of the year but he tries his best. It’s just that his best… was never really enough. So Dean raised Sammy himself. Sam would kill him for saying it, but he's just like Dad. He got all his looks from Dad and has the same headstrong determination, Dean got it all from their mother. But Sam… his best is better than Dad’s best could ever be. Dean's proud of him.

They hate each other, Sammy and John, but they would die for one another.

Sometimes, when they fight—actually every time they fight—it’s like Dean's completely invisible to them. He hates seeing them fight, but they do. Like dogs. And Dean tries so hard to be the peacemaker but they don’t even look at him. Sam will be yelling his lungs out in fury at Dad and Dad will quietly growl his replies. It’s hard to get between them physically since his Dad is pretty damn strong, being an ex-marine, and Sam… he’s 6’4. Dean doesn't know what was in his cereal growing up but whatever it was… damn.

So getting between them is asking for a black eye, even though they never hurt each other... they would never. But that’s okay, fair enough that he shouldn't get between them. It’s fine—okay it’s not but… what is he supposed to do? Punch them back? No.

Dad will order Sam to do something, Sam will say no and ask why he expects Sam to just do and Dad will reply with something along the lines of ‘Because that’s what a good son would do’, ‘Because I said so, Sam’ or ‘Dean does what he’s told, so should you!’ and Sam will inevitably stop talking to he and Dean.

Dean thinks to himself that he don’t get it because… what did he do? What has he done wrong? Why does he always get punished? Why does he—and Dad’s voice will appear in his head and say, "Because that’s your job, Dean."


End file.
